Lilly Pulitzer is making stationery!

Talk about two great tastes that taste great together--the only thing I love more than Lilly Pulitzer is cute stationery, and now Lilly will be selling stationery (and gifts) beginning in January, 2009.

Head over here and give them your email and you'll be in the know faster than you can say "please ignore the Walgreen's display of fold-over cards with "Thank you" printed on them."

I want you to do me a favor.

If you are at all interested in drug store makeup, please head over to my latest BlogHer BeautyHacks post and leave a comment.

I know it's a lot to ask, but I slaved over that damned thing--finding the pictures and uploading them was a big fat pain--but it's been up since last night, and no one has commented yet.

And now I feel like Stella Dallas's daughter that time when she was supposed to be having a birthday party and none of the kids she invited showed up.


Poppy tries to comfort her little BlogHer post

This illustration is designed to make you feel really bad for even contemplating blowing this off. Also, I'm cross-posting this entry at The Opiate of the Masses.

Right now you're reading the current incarnation of my moribund shopping blog, which bestirs itself every six months or so and tries to grab some attention, only to continue to be ignored. Kind of like John Kerry.

In fact, I think this shopping blog (which believe it or not, used to get more clicks than my "main" blog) is ready to have an affair to take some attention away from my "main" blog. Which in case you didn't realize it, is the John Edwards of blogs.

See how utterly lacking in integrity I'm being? Shamelessly whoring myself out, expecting to get away with my self-promoting sleaziness because of my good hair and boyish grin? Well, I'm doing the same thing over there. Expecting the tens of dozens of readers who check in every day to fall for my charm. Exactly like John Edwards.

So anyway, please head over to BlogHer, and if it isn't too much of a pain, leave a comment explaining why mine is the single most insightful post on how to make the transition from late summer to fall makeup for $30 tops, including tax.

(Of course, this is assuming you already have foundation, mascara, an eyelash curler, a my-lips-but-better shade of lipstick or gloss and a second gloss in a darker shade. If you don't already have that, you are way behind, and you need to get cracking.)

Disney iconoclasts will love this one

A long time ago I visited a part of Spain that had been colonized by the Romans. There were still Roman statues to be seen here and there, but they were all headless. Someone told me that when everyone converted to Christianity, they knocked the heads off the old statues of gods and goddesses. Or maybe they were statues of Christian saints and the Muslims knocked them off. My informant wasn't quite sure which it was.

But just think, kids. Now you can knock blocks off in the safety of your own home!

All you need to do is buy this life-sized status of Donald Duck. Yes, that's right, I said life-sized. And yes, I realize that Donald Duck doesn't actually exist and is, in fact, a drawing. In this case life-sized means: larger than a regular duck, and smaller than a second-grader. For the record, this work of art measures a stately 39 inches high--roughly the height of the average chair back. So no worries about "where would I put it?" Because if you have room for a chair, you have room for this statue of Donald Duck.


And just see how he blends with every kind of decor! Behind him you see a mid-century armless slipper chair accessorized with a tufted satin pillow. It's sleek, but glamorous. And yet see to the right? The sort of Tuscan looking dark wood commode with the glass bowl of flowers? It's old-world and romantic.

And Donald looks great with both.

To add to Donald's versatility? He comes with two heads. Just think how handy! Now you don't need to use words, body language, or weapons to get your point across. Whether you're happy or sad, Donald does the talking for you.


Now I can just imagine you saying "But Poppy, where will I keep the extra head?" Come on--don't tell me you haven't had one of those elaborate California Closets installed. If you haven't, what are you waiting for? Get the doohickey that's designed to hold basketballs. It would be perfect for Donald's extra head.

And of course, you have the option of knocking one or both of the heads off, in case you're a godless heathen who hates Disney.

It's breathtaking, isn't it. For $399 plus tax plus shipping plus an extra $55 handling, this limited edition statue can be yours.

Would you buy a pair of shoes from this woman?

She looks like she's going to a masquerade party as Tweetie Bird, except her feet decided that Looney Tunes characters weren't chic enough. The left foot wanted to go out as Disney Princesses, but the right foot said the whole Disney Princess thing had been done to death, so they decided to go out as two of the puppies from 101 Dalmatians.

Except Paris's feet were so big they had to go out as the puppies' parents, Pongo and Perdita. 

Seriously, I swear, if you listen carefully, that front foot? Is speaking with Rod Taylor's voice.

At any rate, Paris is going to be designing shoes. And we're all excited about that, aren't we?

Aren't we?

The internet picks my pocket. Again.

My excuse is that it's a snow day, so I'm stuck inside, listening to my children play video games--a sound I thought I'd be spared until 4:00 this afternoon--thinking about how much fun I'm going to have shoveling the foot of snow that has accumulated out there--and visiting an unusually large number of blogs.

I mean, an unusually large number of blogs even for me, the Baroness of Bloghopping.

Which explains how I was seduced by my friend Wendy's craft blog.

Should I just mention here that I can't knit, crochet, sew, or embroider? And my last crafting efforts--a needlepoint canvas of poppies (get it?--so you'd think I'd be motivated) is lurking in the back of my closet? And has been for about five years?

So what was I doing clicking over to A Dress a Day and clicking on her advertisers? I mean, hello, I don't do that stuff. I CAN'T SEW.

So why did I buy this from the Antique Doll House of Patterns?



I DON'T KNOW. I do actually own a sewing machine--a 1940 Singer that a friend of my mother's passed along to her. And it works. I happen to know that it sews both forwards and backwards, because about 14 years ago I actually sat down and sewed Barbie clothes for my sister's Barbie--from a 1960's pattern--as a funny Christmas present.

One little sundress took me ALL. DAMNED. DAY.

So I'm crazy. But not crazy enough to buy this:



Even though it's adorable and wonderfully retro, and at 38 Canadian dollars, quite cheap. But I know it wouldn't fit me. I have a giant noggin, and women's hats never fit me. I love hats, so this is a cruel prank played on me by my ancestors. I console myself by telling myself that my noggin is giant because it's filled to overflowing with brains.

But then I remember the APRON PATTERNS I just bought. And I realize that I'm just kidding myself.

Bloggy Giveaways

In case you don't read my main blog, I thought I'd give you the head's up. I'm participating in Shannon's Bloggy Giveaway, and if you enter before 5:00 Friday, February 1, you can win:

1. a bunch of chick-lit books
2. three NIB limited edition Barbie dolls
3. various bottles of EDT
4. an Hermes scarf

Tomorrow I'm going to put up a NIB American Girl Doll.

Come enter!

Whole Latte Love

See this? It's the very first latte I've made with this:

Which I bought from Whole Latte Love as an anniversary present for my huzbin. That was back in September, and believe it or not, this was the first day I flew solo. I was intimated by its sleek Italian design and counter-intuitive buttons. But it was so easy!

This is the Saeco Italia--one of those all-in-one machines that grinds the beans, makes the espresso, and lets you heat and froth milk for capuccinos and lattes. You can also use pre-ground coffee.

Please note the BonJour Primo Latte whisk to the left of the machine. I like to use that to supplement or supplant the steaming foaming nozzle. Note that I did the lazy-or-cheap woman's version of a Vanilla latte--no sugary syrup, just a little bit of vanilla extract and a couple of packets of Splenda.

Just so you know, Whole Latte Love is running a Valentine's Day special--5 percent off with coupon code savein08. And if the price of these machines makes you wince, may I remind you what a latte costs at Starbucks? And how nice it is to make them at home ... watching the snow fall down and cover all the Saeco-deprived suckers who have to head out to Starbucks for their lattes?

Also? I bought a refurbished Saeco Italia. Now, it looks like our particular model is sold out, but they have other refurbished models for less than $400, or the price of 29 Venti Soy Hazelnut Vanilla Cinnamon White Mocha with extra White Mocha and caramel—plus 13 espresso shots. Making it a bargain, if you're thinking long term. And remember, there will be 5 percent off, no sales tax, and free shipping.

The Empress speaks

I get a lot of compliments on my skin, and I'd like to keep it that way. Therefore, as I age, I find that to my usual routine of SPF-five-zillion moisturizers and careful cleansing, I need to add two thing: serums and exfoliation.

It's reached the point where I consider myself to be the self-declared Empress of Exfoliation. And ladies, we need to talk.

Exfoliaton is key. KEY. If you are over 35, you need to exfoliate on a regular basis. Exfoliation gets rid of flaky skin, keeps your skin smooth and glowing, makes your skin more receptive to those expensive potions you're using, and increases cellular turnover, which like so many other things, diminishes with age.

Anyway, I've tried lots of exfoliation tools, from the lowly Buf-Puf to some Yves Saint Laurent je ne sais quoi sans gommage stuff I bought at Neimans. I now have a new favorite, and I've been using it for a few months with no desire to switch--which for me, is saying something.

Now, ordinarily, I don't go around handing out random beauty secrets to all and sundry, because who knows which of you hussies wants to become the next Mrs. Buxom? All I need is one of you young lovelies moving in on That Stud Muffin I Married. For all I know, you look just like me, except younger and prettier. I mean, it could be a John Derek situation, where all the wives look the same, just increasingly younger.

But anyway. I love this product so much that I have to spill the beans.

My new boyfriend is named RoC Daily Microdermabraision Cleansing Disks. Drugstore.com even has them on sale. 

Go. Buy a tub of them. Start off slow--maybe twice a week. I've now worked up to every other day, first thing in the morning in the shower. They are fabulous--easy, quick, perfect for travel (no messy tubes.)

Let the Online Shopping Begin, or, checking out coupon codes, and the trouble that ensued

Just because I love you, Internet, I went over to Sephora to see whether I really could get the Friends and Family discount I mentioned in my last post. But it had expired. Bah, humbug, and all that.

But I don't let little things like missing 20 percent discounts get in the way of a good shopping excurision. Because something caught my eye.

My makeup-obsessed internet pals have been raving for years about Nars' Orgasm Blush. It's a pinky-peachy shade that gives everyone a wonderful just-shagged look. But I don't really like powder blush all that much. I have dry skin, and it just sort of sits there on top of my face, making me look--well, powdery. But! I saw that Nars' wonderful Multiple sticks (cream/gel sticks for use all over the face) now include the Orgasm shade. And of course, this meant that I would be getting a Multiple Orgasm. So of course I popped for Nars Multiple in Orgasm.

I also ordered two oh-dear-I'm-not-getting-any-younger-am-I? skincare items: Bliss Sleeping Peel Resurfacing Gel ($30)

and a Cosmedicine Starter Kit ($48).



Because the FF code had expired, I used a code from currentcodes.com. There were codes for things I didn't want or was already getting, like free shipping, so I went with the one that would get me a free fugly cocktail ring, which Santa will put in my daughter's Christmas stocking.


However, I did get:

• free ground shipping (free with orders of $75 and up)
• three free samples (also standard operating procedure)
• a free bottle of Sephora Mandarin Grapefruit shower gel (because I signed up for Sephora's Beauty Insider program)
• a free tube of Bliss body butter (because my birthday is within two weeks of placing my order)*

I really try to act my age. Especially when my birthday is right around the corner. But I'm very excited about my package. Oooh, samples! Freebies! Squeeeee!

*While the actual day is December 12, birthday greetings will be accepted with pleasure any time between now and Christmas.

Shopping Discount Links UPDATED

There's an email floating around with a metric ton of clickable links for discounts on lots of on-line stores, as well as links to coupons you can print and bring to brick and mortar stores.

No one has seen fit to forward to me, but Charming & Delightful has posted it on her blog, so head over there and check it out.

Naturally, neither I nor Charming & Delightful can vouch for these deals, but they're definitely worth a look.

---UPDATED---

The first code I checked out, the Friends and Family code for Sephora, didn't work. Bugger!

Even the Manolo can't talk me into these.

Although these shoes remind me forcibly of my beloved Marimekko poppy print gym bag with its matching shower kit ... somehow, huge poppies are not something I envision wearing on my feet.

However, it's a free country, and if you're willing to spend $498 to enjoy the sight, then head over to Zappos and buy them. (Personally, I think these shoes would be improved with a black platform and a black band across the vamp, instead of all that white.)

Simply Vera at Kohl's

In case you missed her on Oprah, another major fashion star has gone mass market--Vera Wang for Kohl's.

Primarily known for gorgeous, simple wedding dresses, Wang branched out into lingerie, china, crystal, and, of all things, mattresses:


I guess she's interested in All Things Bridal. Even the wedding night. (Just so you know, that little beauty is available exclusively at NM for $2,999.)

To me, Vera Wang's design have always been simple, clean, architectural, ladylike--sort of like Balenciaga, if Balenciaga had been a girl.

Like this:

or this:
(Both on the NM website.)

How does Vera do as a mass market designer? If you head over to the Kohl's website, you can click on a slide show of head-to-toe Simply Vera looks.

Frankly, with Simply Vera, head-to-toe is not working for me. A few of the pieces are interesting--for me, the skirts are standouts--but a whole outfit doesn't work. Better to slot in something here and there with stuff you bought elsewhere, because an entire outfit has a kind of ragamuffin appearance.

The standouts for me are the sleepwear

This little robe is marked down from $40 to $27.99!

and lingerie.

This bra is marked down to $25.99

A lot of it's on sale, so check it out.

Neiman Marcus is Dead; Long Live Neiman Marcus

Remember how I was just saying that Neiman Marcus can be kind of tacky? And then whined about how much I lusted after their exclusive 100th anniversary Salvatore Ferragamo shoes?

Well, the Ferragamo shoes are on back-order. I can whine as much as I want; they're not showing up in my mailbox any time soon.

So I ordered these Kate Spade beauties.

The Katarina pump. Named, I have no doubt, for the Empress of Russia.

I'm adding my own pictures so you can see the skyscraper heels, which came as something of a surprise.

As you can see from the NM picture, they're not really in evidence on the web site.

I wore my Catherine-the-Greats to a very arty benefit on Saturday night. The kind of arty benefit where the men are little and skinny and have creative facial hair and wear architect glasses and either gel their hair or shave it all off and carry man bags, and the women wear something Arty, which on the young ones is usually short and many layered and sticky-outy so they look kind of like a frill at the end of a lamb chop bone--and on the older ones is longer and many layered and monk-like with a big artistic necklace.

And I showed up looking like the back end of the bourgeoisie in a little black dress and some nice jewelry.

But I had on some truly fierce shoes.

And they were comfortable! OK, they weren't all bad, considering the amount of time I spent standing around staring at art.

I attribute this to the extreme Minnie Mouse roundness of the toes:



Sadly enough, these shoes are shaped like my feet. No, I'm not Cinderella's ugly stepsister who went to extreme lengths to make the shoes fit. My toes really are that short.

Oh, and how do you like my leopard print carpet? Somebody cut off my toes, but damn! I'm still sex-ay.

Neiman Marcus's 100th anniversary

OK, let's face it. When it comes to Neiman Marcus--brick-and-mortar or catalog/on-line, it's not all gold in them thar hills.

There's a lot that is way too trendy. Gaudy. Tasteless. Even--dare I say it? Tacky.


For the prim receptionist who moonlights as a hooker, this D&G checked jacket and shimmer skinny jeans.


This is what you come up with when Britney Spears is your muse.


While Juicy Couture continues to be inspired by Paris Hilton. Note the faux fur trim on a dog coat--how delightfully ironic and self-referential!

In short, all too often, Neiman Marcus illustrates the adage that money can't buy taste.

But I logged on the other day and discovered that Neiman's is celebrating its 100th anniversary with some exclusive merchandise.

Like these Ferragamo shoes.



These are so gorgeous, so old-skool Ferragamo, that I immediately fell in lust. That is, if bookmarking the page and obsessively checking them several times a day qualifies as lust.

The whole thing leaves me wondering whether, if I ask my husband to buy them for me for our anniversary, would it be the equivalent of asking him to bankroll a gigolo.

B Designs Inc.: Correspondence cards for the rest of us

Sure, Crane's paper is nice. And engraving is nice.

But it's so predictable.

I just bought a couple of boxes of letter press correspondence cards from B Designs Inc. The designs are simple and elegant, but not stuffy. And they're guilt-free, because they're printed on recycled paper.

A box of ten cards is $14.00 on line; maybe more if you are fool enough to buy them in some overpriced tourist trap pay retail.

Dominique Cohen at Target

Just as we're all doing back-to-school shopping for the kids and hauling the 10-pound September Vogue off the doorstep (sorry about the hernia, Mr. Mailman!) comes the news that jewelry designer Dominique Cohen has produced a new line for Target.

Now, piled on in careless profusion, as in the picture on their website, it's all a bit much.

However, individual pieces could be a lot of fun. Especially since it looks like this fall, at long last, black is finally the new black.

This necklace could work with just about anything.

The cameo is a bit tricker to work with, but as long as you don't look like you're taking it seriously, it could punch up a lot of casual clothes. Or black and white outfits. Or OK, a Lucy dress you thrifted.

I saved the best for last. LOVE the combination of crystal with black.

My black purse. Yes, AGAIN.

I bought a used Marc Jacobs Stella bag on eBay.

This is why you should be glad:

1. It is used, therefore Compact-friendly and 100 percent guilt-free.
2. It is excellent quality leather, and therefore better than my old Target knock-off, which I had loved almost to death (little chunks of the plastic were falling off and revealing its faux-ness to the discerning eye.)
3. Whoever was selling it will be OK, I hope, with the price I paid--$199.
4. I am pretty happy with the price I paid. (The Marc by Marc Jacobs bag I returned was quite a bit more.)
5. By buying a new (used) bag, I did not have to ask any more favors of the friend who already went to a lot of time and trouble to recover my wallet, sunglasses, license, etc., from the Parisian police. Have I mentioned what a swell guy he is?

Now, let's hope I like this bag. Because I feel the need to become interesting again.

Yet another post about the black purse.

I know. Sigh.

But this is important, people! Because you know how my cheap-o Marc Jacobs Stella bag knock off from Target purse got stolen in Paris? And how I was so depressed, not to mention incredibly busy cancelling credit cards and bank accounts and shit like that?

And how I decided the only way to make myself feel better was to buy a replacement bag?

And how the replacement bag showed up and was not good enough?

Well, yesterday I returned it to Neiman Marcus.

And today, well, today I (very fairly and reasonably) gave the friend who went to the Lost Handbags depository of the Parisian police and claimed my purse for me (how nice is this guy? I ask you) permission to chuck the old one away. Because he couldn't fit it in his suitcase, and he did me a huge favor and shouldn't have to listen to a lot of whining.

So you see, now I really have to find a replacement. And then I will fill it with the wallet, prescription sunglasses, digital camera, passport, and other stuff that he got back for me.

I'm not obsessed. No, really.

But it's lucky that I got a letter from the police in Paris, telling me that they have my purse. Because the search for a replacement of my knock-off Marc Jacobs bag is just so ... time consuming. Because I'm finding myself being insanely picky.

(For those of you coming in late, my $25 Target Marc Jacobs knock-off bag was stolen last month in Paris, and I'm feeling bereft. That bag is like a phantom limb. I want another one--badly. I never thought I'd hear from the Paris police, and now that I have, I still don't believe I'll be able to get the Parisian police to mail my purse back to me. So I keep looking for the perfect replacement.)

So. Let's start at the top, shall we? Here's a Tod's version. It's nice, but it's made of patent leather, which I don't like. Also, it does sort of look like it should have a little dog inside it. And, of course, because it's my favorite candidate, it's the most expensive. It costs $1,450, which puts it squarely into "as if!" territory.


Then, a lightweight Prada nylon version. But it's too lightweight, Prada, and nylon. And it's $600 at Saks:


Here's a Coach version. It's ... OK. It's $425, though. And that belt thing ... will that end up pissing me off? I think so.
Click this to see another Coach candidate. OK, it has possibilities. But $658?

Then the Marc by Marc Jacobs one I actually bought. And hate.


Here's a previous season's Marc Jacobs Stella, the bag Target was knocking off in the first place. And it's on sale! I found at various sites on the web at a deeply discounted price. But that topstitching. I don't like topstitching.


OK, let's get back to earth. Nordstrom's has this one. It's patent, and the outside pockets aren't great. But it was the cheapest one so far.

Nordstrom's has this one, too. It's OK. But now I'm all depressed that I found two possibilities at Nordstrom's. Nordstrom's is so middle of the road. It doesn't matter that I bought two of my favorite suits at Nordstrom's. In my pathetic desire to remain somewhat cutting edge, I reject Nordstrom and all its merchandise, except maybe exclusive Bobbi Brown or MAC products.

The search continues.

Update on the non-knock-off Marc Jacobs bag

It's a loser.

The bag is too squashy (hey, I like soft, touchable leather as much as the next girl, but this thing feels like an elephant's foreskin) the strap is too short, the outside pockets are too big, and the lining is too loud. It's black fabric with "MARC JACOBS" in giant white letters.

Oh, and the top does not close with a zipper, but a magnetic clasp, which is a deal-breaker, So the search for a

black
tote bag
with a zipper top
and outside pockets for my cell phone and iPod

continues.