I love Target as much as anyone else ...

... but not. that. way.

Canvas tote bag for $50?

Swarovski crystal evening bag for $875?

14k gold and diamond necklace for $3,175?

I don't think so.

(Thanks to Mir for being the first to discover this--this heinousness.)

Poppy's black tie bonanza-rama.

I finally had a chance to do some North Michigan Avenue shopping. So I went a little crazy.

This is what I needed: whatever underwear it would take for the dress I was wearing to a black tie event Saturday evening to fit nicely and look smooth and bulge-free.

I also needed a pair of summery evening shoes. Because the day was supposed to reach 94 degrees. Ninety-four degrees! And me in a long dress, yards of spandex, and pantyhose. At least my toes could be feeling a breeze.

I headed out to go to Nordstrom's, figuring they have a ton of shoes, and the lingerie selection is good; they sell the almighty Wacoal bra. So Nordstrom's it was.

Except it was so hot outside that I ducked into the first department store I hit that sells shoes and underwear. Which was Neiman Marcus. Where my choices were pretty much limited to big name designer stuff. And I actually tried on a pair of Manolos. But then I tried on these and was instantly sold because even with 3-1/4 inch heels, they were amazingly comfortable. They are now on sale at the Cole Haan website, so if you wear a size 9.5, you're in luck. I, unfortunately, did not get them on sale, and thus paid the full retail price of $325.

Then I hit lingerie where I tried on 5,000 bras and one shaper: the Spanx Slim Cognito Seamless Mid-Thigh Bodysuit ($68). I also got a new Chantelle ($65) bra. (Who knew French babes could develop impressive racks? I had no idea Chantelle bras were available in my size.)

The irony of all this? Is that I spent over $400 to underpin/accessorize a dress I got on ebay, brand-new with tags, for $29.99.

The double irony is that I got a ton of compliments on the dress. And while I wasn't expecting anyone to compliment me on my new underpinnings, no one had anything to say about my new shoes, which are, as you can see, gorgeous.

The adventure continued. On my way out of Neiman's, I went through accessories and bought a pink straw hat and two Hermes scarves. Also some loot for my husband for Father's Day. But you deserve pictures, so the details will wait until I have my camera. Stay tuned.

Another reason to love eBay--Enid Collins bags

If you've never heard of Enid Collins, your handbag education is sorely lacking. Enid Collins was a Texan who designed a range of bags during the 1960s. She started off with a wooden box bag, later branching out into a more standard canvas tote bag. They were produced until her company was bought out in 1970.

I first encountered masses of Enid Collins merchandise a few years ago on eBay. At that time, the prices were pretty high, so I slaked my thirst for whimsical beaded bags by buying stuff from Lulu Guinness and Isabella Fiore. At $125-$300 a pop, the Lulu and Isabella stuff was actually competitively priced; plus I could check out the condition for myself.

(The Lulu Guinness picnic-themed bag on the right is a sample of the kind of thing I was buying.)

However, a recent scan of eBay offerings shows that Enid Collins bags are worth another look. Prices appear to have dropped considerably; I suppose the hard-core early-adapters have already stuffed their closets with EC treasures and moved on. Either that, or fashion has moved on, (as it always does) and whimsical bags look way too 2003, now that everyone is carrying great big, slouchy, bohemian-inspired, luggage brown oversized bags with lots of little outside pockets.

But if you're in the mood for whimsical ... something to carry when you're on your way to a girls-night-out Margarita fest wearing your Miss Trish of Capri sandals with the gold seahorses, you could spend $425 at Neiman Marcus on the bag at the left,

or pick up an Enid Collins, or even a knock-off, pictured on the right--for less than a tenth of that. And what could be better than that?

For more on Enid Collins, CoolOldStuff has a ton of information, plus good, clear pictures.

Karl, Karl, Karl.

When you get to a certain age, you develop a tendency to stick your fingers into your hears and go "la la la I can't heeeeeeear you!" when the fashion magazines start trying to convince you some loathesome trend is worth having.

Such a trend is the Extremely Enormous Bag. I can remember a time when I was obsessed with carrying wee, teensy little bags, so I remember the horror of having to chose my cosmetics by their size. As in "Who cares that this powder is too light and makes me break out--it fits into my bag!"

But this! Imagine trying to find your car keys in this. It's like someone took a black hole from outer space, turned it inside out, and sewed on a handle. Not to mention that it looks like a Hefty Trash Bag.

Not that a Hefty Trash Bag isn't called for here. I'm sure the model would love to crawl into one and hide her shame, which, for the record, is comprised of: a jailbait/schoolgirl/Pr0n-style little black jumper, a pair of white fingerless elbow-length gloves, a pair of black pleather over-the-knee whore boots, and a bad hair day.

Frankly, Karl, it's time you sent yourself--or more likely, your assistant--back to the drawing board. I give this monstrosity two fingerless-gloved thumbs down.

Welcome to my Netflix Queue

I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only person who watches movies and television programs for the clothes.

I mean, right now, I'm bingeing on the Ian Carmichael Lord Peter Wimsey series, enjoying the stories, of course, but freaking out over the tailoring. Joke would love it.

But now I hear that That Girl is out on DVD.

Does anyone else out there remember swooning over the opening credits? Especially the dress with the parasol?

I've got to see this. And get my daughter to watch it with me. (I'll let my husband watch, too. Even though he has told me that as a boy, his love was pretty much equally divided between Ann Marie in That Girl, Jeannie in I Dream of Jeannie, and Samantha from Bewitched.)

Why I Love eBay (With a Cautionary Note)

How do love eBay? Let me count the ways. I use eBay to:

1. Complete my mother's and grandmother's china patterns, both of which were discontinued at the dawn of time. I like to avoid purchasing things at Replacements. I can get stuff from eBay at a tenth of the cost.

2. Continue forcing my daughter to dress in a mother/daughter style. If I buy a Lilly Pulitzer skirt for me and matching dress for my daughter, and she has the nerve to outgrow hers when mine still fits fine--I pick up the same dress for her in a larger size on eBay.

3. Pick up rare, hard-to-find, or otherwise interesting Hermes scarves. eBay is a great source, and some of the sellers there are incredibly knowledgable. (N.B.: Don't buy anything from China. Or that says "Made in Italy." Or that claims to be made of "seta." Hermes scarves are manufactured in France and are made of "soie." Or "silk." Not "seta." Oh--and if you see a bunch of listings for, say, the popular "Rocking Horse" pattern? Or the "Bubbles" pattern? Stay far away from that seller.)

4. Discontinued cosmetics. Because Badger keeps turning me on to products that get discontinued. Like this cleanser.

5. Idiotic tschotkes for my house.

6. Jewelry. Which, admittedly, I don't buy often. But I love to look.

But ... this is how not to sell a piece of jewelry on eBay: get your mother to model it:


Something tells me this thing is going to go for a song.

The Little Box of Beauty

Chicago's Oak Street is a short stretch of ground that caps off the madness that is shopping on Michigan Avenue.

One way of thinking about it is as a beret on a giraffe. Say Michigan Avenue is the giraffe's neck. You're walking north on Michigan Avenue. After you encounter a branch of every department store you've ever heard of: Nordstrom, Saks, Lord and Taylor, Marshall Fields, and Bloomingdales, plus every specialty store: Gap, Victoria's Secret, Talbot's, Disney, American Girl, plus every flagship store: Apple, Nike, Ralph Lauren, plus every designer: Burberry, Salvatore Ferragamo, Cartier, Van Cleef and Arpels, Armani, Chanel, Max Mara ... you hit Oak Street, the little beret at the top of all that long, long neck. The stores are smaller (but still off -the-charts expensive): Tod's, Hermes, Prada, Yves St. Laurent, Barney's.

And then, as a shining oasis of affordability, there's Bravco.

Bravco is one of those stores that cosmetic fanatics know about. Even if they're not from Chicago, they'll have heard of it. It's that good. If it's a super-expensive French hair care line, or a weird brand of cake mascara, or a makeup artist line, you can find it at Bravco and the upstairs store, B-too.

I ran in there today between two church services (what better way to spend my off time than at a veritable temple of makeup?)

I bought my zillionth bottle of Simple Solutions Ultra Copper Firming Serum (which may or may not be doing my skin some good--but I'm not willing to find out by using it on half my face to see whether it works. I don't want to end up like Two-Face from the Dick Tracy comics.)

I also got a bottle of Kerastase ultra-gentle, ultra-expensive Bain Miroir color-protecting shampoo. I had vowed to go back to Pantene. But the Pantene color-protecting stuff leaves my hair very weighed down. And honey, my hair can take a LOT of product. I've got semi-permanent color all over my head, with highlights and lowlights and a glaze on top of that--my hair is so chemically treated, it's a cross between Whitney Houston and Courtney Love. On any given day I've got Kiehl's silk groom, and Bedhead styling gel and Frizz-Ease in it, just to keep it looking healthy. Three products? No problem. But the Pantene stuff drove me crazy. It made my hair feel yucky and dirty.

Oh, and I bought two tubes of the Single Greatest Mascara in the world. Thickens my all-but-non-existent lashes and really is waterproof. I figure I should stock up; it's too good, and that means it's going to get discontinued any second now.

That's all, folks!

What I Bought on my Spring Vacation: Part Duh

Lately I've become obsessed with jade.

I know something about jewelry--I know about the 4 C's of diamond quality, and that Italian jewelers can't be bothered to make anything out of 14K gold, and that the first thing you look for in colored gem stones is the color--shade and saturation--and then you worry about the inclusions.

But for some reason, I got interested in jade, even though I knew nothing about it. And couldn't tell the expensive stuff from the cheap crap.

Actually, I think that's why I got interested. There is so much to learn. I mean, there's nothing we geeks like better than having to master an entirely new world of arcane knowledge with its own aesthetic. Like, say, the blogosphere. Or computers in general. Or jade.

Anyway, I'm in good company. Apparently the Chinese have been obsessed with jade for millennia (think Queen Elizabeth I and pearls, or Louis XIV and diamonds, only worse.) They started off using it for tools, because it can be honed to a sharp edge. It also lends itself to carving. It's called "the stone of heaven," and traditional Chinese lore attributes all kinds of mystical powers to it. (Not that I'm some chai tea drinking, incense-burning, crystal-wearing hippy. Harrumph! My interest is much more intellectual than that.) (Even though jade is supposed to be good for the kidneys. And come to think of it, I do drink too many cocktails, and my kidneys could probably use the help.)

I really had to read up on the stuff, because honestly, prices are all over the map. There's a bangle currently listed on eBay with a starting bid of $8,000:

And here's one with a starting bid of $1,900:


And this one has a buy-it-now price of $58:



Now, I ask you. Can you make sense out of these prices? Because I can't. So, is this a recipe for getting ripped off or what? Yay!

I decided that my first jade-purchasing experience should occur in the China pavilion at Epcot. I reasoned that the Walt Disney Corporation would probably not want to get into deep doodoo for selling jade that is dyed, or treated with polymers, or even vastly overpriced. I mean, a little overpriced, sure. This is Disney, after all. I'd be paying a premium for their expertise, but I wouldn't walk out of there with a piece of junk.

So while That Stud Muffin I Married was checking out the hand-rolled Jasmine Pearl tea, I checked out the options in the jewelry department. After much deliberation (as much as five whole minutes, people) I bought a jade cabochon ring set in yellow gold, with little tiny diamonds on either side. I believed the saleswoman when she told me it was very good jade ... I really did. But I felt better when a jewelry store owner in Boston's Chinatown told me it was excellent quality. I guess that time I didn't rip myself off. Because I spent $400 on that ring.

Since then I've purchased one more piece--a carved pendant on eBay. Just so you know, the purchase price was way less than $400. In fact, the purchase price was less than the shipping from Hong Kong. So you see, I'm not absolutely opposed to ripping myself off--and buying cheap crap--if that's what I did. And I think it is. Let's put it this way; I don't think I'll be wearing my pendant into any jewelry stores in Chinatown. Unless I'm also wearing a t-shirt that says, in Chinese characters: "Rip me off; I'm a stupid American."

So--want to see what I wasted my money on bought? I'm no jewelry photographer, and this is the best I can do:

You can't tell from the picture, but the pendant has a dragon carved in it.

p.s. If you're interested in jade, this website is the best source of information I've found on-line (scroll down to see amazing pictures of jewelry) this website has a lot of information as well as pieces for sale, and Gump's has no information, but a lot of jade for sale.

What I Bought on my Spring Vacation: The first in a series of posts.

You might as well know at once that even though I have my moments of exquisite taste, and the Hermes store just sent me the latest scarf catalog, and one time a friend of mine asked me whether I'd help her decorate her house (that was probably ass-kissing, though) I have an unbelievable urge to buy things that are tacky. Or funny. Or offensive. Better yet--all three.

For example, I'm highly amused by the t-shirt that says ""If you fuck them, they will come."

I can't help it. I'm much too repressed ladylike to wear a shirt that says "fuck," but that shirt cracks me up. And I haven't even seen Field of Dreams.

So anyway, all this is to let you know that while I lay down the law about current fashions or hand out unsolicited advice the way DHC hands out samples, I also realize that I have a weak spot for The Truly Tacky.

So in my posts about what I bought on Spring Break, the first thing I'm going to talk about is these beauties:


You won't even know what this is about unless you've driven through Tennessee or Georgia. There used to be about 700 barns with SEE ROCK CITY painted on them. At last count there were only 90 left, but the billboards, which are ALL OVER THE PLACE, help to make up for the loss of actual barns.

Have I seen Rock City? No, I have not. Do I want to? Sort of. Is buying a souvenir of a place you haven't been to sort of stupid? Yes, it is. Especially when the item is a bird house that's trying to look like a barn. With a big-ass advertisement painted on it.

At first, I meant merely to buy one of these for my sister, as a joke, because she loves birds and bird houses and has all kinds of silly things all over her house and garden. But then, being me, I couldn't resist getting one for myself, too. Although I think I'm going to hang it from the kitchen ceiling, because the birds around here expect something a lot more tasteful, even from free housing.

Poppy's Change of Heart--on sale at 40% off!

So the husband and I have been talking about the income and the outgo of this household, and it looks like some budgeting is in order. And of course, he's all depressed.

Notice I said "he."

Because there's nothing I like better than a shopping challenge. As in "how low can I go before I would say my standard of living has changed significantly?" I have a feeling that's pretty low.

For one thing, I've already done some shopping for spring, what with a new bag, a pretty pink Razr phone, and a spree I went on recently at the Barry Bricken store in Winnetka.

I didn't tell you about that because I'm a perfectionist, and I don't like to talk about stuff without posting pictures. But I'm a perfectionist who apparently a) can't manage to keep her digital camera charged, b) or keep it in a sensible location, or c) find the cord that connects it to my laptop, so what with one thing and another, I haven't managed to take any pictures of my new loot.

But it's scrumptious. A week or two ago I went into the Barry Bricken store for some of their perfect jeans, and bought two pairs. But! I also went over the sale tables and scored five cashmere sweaters: three long-sleeved cable-knitted beauties in periwinkle blue, pink, and cream, one navy blue tissue-weight short-sleeved cashmere t-shirt in navy blue, and a fun argyle-front long sleeved crewneck in hot pink, orange, and brown--sounds hideous, but looks great with two-year's-ago brown Lilly Pulitzer stuff. These sweaters are perfect for easing me through the last of the chicago winter, because they're warm, yet the colors are springy.

Pictures soon, I promise.

As for future shopping, I've got to go through my spring inventory. Mine, but more especially, my children's. They continue to shoot up like giraffes and we're heading to Florida for spring break. I'm assuming nothing they own will fit.

On the cosmetics front, I got the Clairol Source magazine, and it has a coupon for Pantene's new Pro-V Expressions shampoos and conditioners. I am totally planning to try those, because the Kerastase Reflection shampoo and Chroma Reflect conditioner are heinously expensive, even on sale, which, by the way, they were so not when I popped for them at my mega-buck$ $alon ... if and when I buy refills, I'm heading straight to the internet!

Reason to get out of bed in the morning, #1

Here in Chicago, we have about two more months of crappy winter weather left before spring finally arrives. We have therefore reached the time of year where my primary urge upon awakening in the morning is to keep the shades drawn and stay in bed, preferably curled up in the fetal position.

Unfortunately, duty usually calls, and I have to get out of bed.

Therefore, my goal when purchasing health and beauty products is to find things that make the process of getting up and dressed somewhat less painful.

Olay Regenerist Thermal Skin Polisher is one such product. It's supposed to gently exfoliate the face with a combination of fruit acids and microbeads.

According to the blather on the drugstore.com website:

Olay Regenerist™ Thermal Skin Polisher regenerates skin's appearance for a beautifully polished texture and renewed vibrancy... achieve professional mini-peel results after 10 days. The key to this breakthrough experience is a water activated self-heating formula that deeply warms skin to relax pores. The gentle micro-crystal formula then polishes away dry skin cells, revealing new skin after rinsing. The formula also contains glycolic acid, a key ingredient used in professional mini-peel treatments.

Sounds impressive, doesn't it? And the reviews on drugstore.com make this stuff sound like a miracle worker.

But actually, my skin is pretty good, and it's generally reliable enough so that I don't notice all that much difference between product and another. So I like this stuff because it heats up when you rub it on your face, and it smells like apple pie. In my usual state of winter morning brain fog, it's easy to convince myself that I'm in an apple orchard lying in the hot sun getting a hot applesauce facial from Antonio Banderas.

And if that isn't a reason to get out of bed in the morning, I don't know what is.

It's currently marked down five percent (save 70 cents, people!) at drugstore.com, with free shipping for orders over $25.

Poppy does Chicago

What a weekend--a real culture-vulture marathon, and just generally busy.
Thank goodness I lost my cellphone.

This meant, of course, that I needed a new one. I wanted a new one, anyway. The old one was kind of clunky and didn't do anything but make calls. No camera, no games, no video, no internet.

By buying a new phone at the Cingular store, I could keep the old number, but everything else was new and (to me, at least) ooh-la-la fancy. I got the Motorola Razr. In pink, of course. With the bluetooth ear thingie. If you never hear from me again, it's because I'm playing Tetris on my cellphone.

Back to Saturday. Walking east to Michigan Avenue, the first store I saw was Coach. So of course I had to go in and check out the Coach Lilly-esque patchwork bags. I thought about it for all of ... 20 seconds, and then I bought the medium-sized Hamptons patchwork tote bag. (I blame Elizabeth of The Preppy Cafe for corrupting me!)

Then I headed up to the Gap because we're heading to Florida next month and I need to bump up my t-shirt supply. The Gap was so crowded I couldn't stand it. Never again. I keep forgetting that for some tourists, the high point of their visit to Chicago is heading to North Michigan Avenue to shop at ... the Gap. They did have some very cute striped canvas tote bags and espadrilles, but I couldn't take the crowds. I'll check out the local store during the week when the kids are in school.

I then headed to Sephora because with a new pink cell phone and a new spring bag, what would be better than a new palette?

I checked out Hard Candy, Urban Decay, and Stila, but the palette that really caught my attention was Pop Cosmetic's "Beaming Popette." The palette is turquoise-colored metal (not cardboard) and has a mirrored lid. Four eyeshadows (one pearl, and three in beautiful shades of green) a shimmery peach highlighter, and three glosses.

While I was there I decided to pick up Tarte's "The Toolbox" eyebrow kit. I've used the way-cheap (and unfortunately discontinued) Revlon eyebrow kit, which consisted of a pan of brow color, a pan of brow wax, and a stiff brush. It worked great, but as I said, it's discontinued, and everyone who makes something like it charges $30 and up. Then there's the high end Chanel product: $60 will get you the eyebrow color, tweezers, a mirror, and a brow brush. Or the Anastasia product, which I believe goes for $120.

The Tarte eyebrow kit has: brow color, brow wax, a set of little tweezers, three brow stencils, a brow pencil, a tube of clear mascara, and a brush for applying the color. Pretty much everything you need in a box the size of two lipsticks. The eyebrow color comes in three shades; I opted for light.

Let me tell you--you haven't lived until you've played around with brow stencils. I had eyebrows like a movie star, man.

I also picked up the Tarte doubled-ended lipglosses in Ferris and Sloane. (They're pretty in the tube, but don't really show up all that much on the lips.)

My last stop was at Talbot's. I really try not to be so boring, but I just wanted to pick up a couple of t-shirts. And the pima cotton short sleeved t-shirts are lovely--not at all see-through, with a gorgeous hand, and a nice fit--not the boxiness I have come to expect from Talbot's. I got pink and turquoise. I'll probably pick up a few more colors to finish filling the t-shirt drawer, and then I'm done.

Spring 2006--bring it on! I'm ready!

Do you suppose it smells as preppy as it looks?

This is Oscar de la Renta's new limited-edition fragrance, "Bamboo." It's available at Marshall Field's. Two ounces of EDT for $39.50.

I'm guessing that it smells fresh and green.

But look at it!

Don't you think it should smell like a gin & tonic? With extra lime?

I think I might buy it just for the fun of displaying it on my bureau ... even if it reeks.

Snapshirts Update

Well, today I received an email from SnapShirts letting me know that my t-shirt design was ready. (This t-shirt uses words from my other blog.) I clicked on the link and checked it out. It looks good!

I'm not much of a fan of t-shirts with writing on them for everyday wear, since frankly, that part of my anatomy doesn't need any more attention. But I get a kick out of wearing them when I'm working out, doing housework, or hanging around the house blogging, i.e., right now. And these shirts look perfect for that. They are 100 percent cotton, not terribly fitted, but shaped like a woman. In this respect this shirt will totally outclass many of my other t-shirts, such as my collection of Red Sox t-shirts, which I heart dearly but which were designed for men and look horribly boxy.

And then there is the little matter of the placement of the silkscreening. The SnapShirts people seemed to have figured that out--the placement of this design looks good. It looks like the word cloud will appear over one's clavicle, which is a good thing when one doesn't exactly feel like standing there on display while other people read War and Peace off one's breasts. At times one finds oneself wondering whether one should offer one's reader a bookmark.

(Sorry about the "one"s. I've been listening to the Narnia books on CD, and it's catching. I'm beginning to sound like Lynn Redgrave. Or worse yet, Michael York.)

Anyway, I selected my size and filled out the rest of the necessary information. The website is well designed, and the whole thing took about two minutes.

I think I need a t-shirt for this blog, too. And another one for my other other blog--I could always use a nice word cloud t-shirt to cook in.

When pajamas aren't enough: what to wear to blog

In my blogging perusals (well, I have to do something to keep me busy while I wait for my package to arrive from Gloss) I came upon a site that makes word cloud t-shirts.

You know what a word cloud is, right? The software goes through a document and picks the most popular words, then arranges them alphabetically. The font size reflects how often each word appears. (In the example I've included, you can see that I talk about myself a lot.)

You can just visit the site to come up with a word cloud, or you can go ahead and order a t-shirt. The t-shirts cost $18, not including shipping. They have men's and women's t-shirt styles in different colors, and a choice of 13 ink colors and 3 fonts.

Naturally, I couldn't resist. I made one with the words it found in my other blog, and I liked it so much I ordered a t-shirt.

I picked pink lettering in the classic Times Roman font. Apparently they'll email me to let me know when the shirt is ready. (I don't remember picking a size, though. Maybe I missed that part of the web page ... damn! Nothing worse than an ill-fitting custom t-shirt. My other blog deserves a better designer t-shirt.)

At any rate, I'll post when I receive an update from SnapShirts.

In the meantime, it's a fun site to fool around with (in the off-chance that you haven't been wasting enough time on the internet, that is.)

It's snowing. So I went shopping.

I know I'm supposed to decry the Estee Lauder corporation's acquisition of super kewl boutique brands like Bobbi Brown and MAC ... but I'm a middle-aged, lazy housewife, it's cold and snowy outside, and frankly, I couldn't be more glad that I could just head over to the Gloss website and order what I needed without firing up the minivan and heading to the mall.

What I needed was my favorite day time moisturizer--Estee Lauder's Resilience Lift lotion. I love this stuff because it's light, moisturizes well, gives me a glow, contains SPF15, yet doesn't reek. In fact, it smells like cantaloupe. I'm on my last week's worth of the stuff, and I was beginning to panic, wondering when I could get to a Major Department Store and buy some.

While I was on the gloss website, I decided to pop for a couple of MAC eyeshadows. Usually, on those rare occasions when I can be bothered to mess around with eyeshadow in the first place, I stick to Jane Eye Zings, but MAC has some interesting shades you really can't get anywhere else. So I ordered MAC shadows in Juxt and Vex.

And now, a word about gifts with purchase. In true Estee Lauder style, Gloss has them. (Estee Lauder being the inventor of this excellent department store tradition.) But on Gloss, you get to pick your gift. This means that when I checked out, I could get a sample tube of Origin's A Perfect World moisturizer, as well as sample sizes of a Clinique lip gloss and eye shadow,
which I like much better than the idea of acquiring Yet Another Tube of Estee Lauder "Rosa Rosa" Lipstick in Yet Another Fugly Cosmetics bag. The GWPs and samples can come from any of the Estee Lauder companies, (or Gloss affiliates) which at present are:

Bobbi Brown
Chanel
Clarins
Clinique
Darphin
Estée Lauder
Jo Malone
La Mer
Lab Series
MAC
Origins
Prescriptives
Rodan + Fields
Stila

As I said, I'm pretty much over gifts with purchase--at least, GWPs of Estee Lauder products. Resilience Lift moisturizer is the only EL product I use. But the companies Estee has gobbled up? I'll totally take their stuff.

Oh, and there was free shipping, too--nice!

So that's the good news.

The bad news is that while Gloss works perfectly well for restocking items you've already used or color cosmetics you've already seen in real life, they have the WORST on-screen representation of makeup colors I've ever seen. They are way, way off. So watch out for that.

Blogger is the new Winona Ryder.

And I can only hope that like Winona Ryder, Blogger experiences a long, slow slide into obscurity. Because Blogger has shoplifted two of my posts. Two very well-written, clever posts, too. Designer posts. With labels. One was even a Karl Lagerfeld.

To make matters worse, in one case Blogger has eaten a post, thrown it up, and then eaten it again. Which I guess also makes Blogger the what--Nicole Ritchie?--of blogging software.

I say this so that if by any chance you saw the post about Karl Lagerfeld, or the post where I made fun of Blogger for not letting me upload pictures--and you're wondering where they went--well, yeah. Me too.

Wait a minute--hear that? I think the security alarm just went off again.

In the pink at In the Pink

One of the things that drives me crazy about on-line shopping is registering for a site only to be totally swamped with spam. I mean, I already feel like a loser for forgetting to send my mother a birthday card, but do I really need to be punished with daily emails from ftd.com? No, I don't.

It's enough to make me want to refuse to register at websites.

But one site well worth registering for is in the pink. I became a member a long time ago, and while I really don't need all that many reminders to shop for Lilly Pulitzer clothes, their email reminders tend to actually offer something in the way of information about upcoming collections, or better yet, ways to save money.

This morning an email from in the pink told me that they were offering members 40 percent off current-season sleepwear. I jumped at the chance to score two sets of Lilly "Dreamy" pajamas for $78 a pair instead of $130. I got Phipps Pink Mommy and Me and Bliss Blue Lazy Paisley--the print you see in the graphic I ruthlessly stole from the in the pink website.

For what it's worth, I've ordered from in the pink many times and I've always been satisfied with their service and shipping. Two pink and green thumbs up!

And now, a word about shawpin

OK, enough about the Olsen Twins. Let's talk shopping!

At the moment, I'm going crazy looking at spring stuff because it's 48 degrees. In Chicago. In January. I'm craving cotton clothes and regular pedicures. I'm compulsively checking out the resort wear on style.com. And flipping through every catalog that comes in the mail.

1. Check out Thrifty Chick's directory of sales and special deals. Big fun! Be sure to scroll all the way down.

2. Those of you who have daughters should know that the Growing Up Garnet Hill catalog is selling Lilly Pulitzer dresses and such along with the usual organic cotton/natural fibers stuff. Also, the girls' shoes are mega-cute. Talk about one stop shopping! If only they carried this stuff in grown-up lady sizes. I mean, would anyone dress like an Olsen twin if she had the option of dressing like an eight year old? No. So Garnet Hill needs to make this cute stuff in grown-up sizes. The big meanies.

3. In the Pink sent me an email with the news that some vintage Lilly Pulitzer dress styles were being resurrected in vintage prints. I just love the fact that Lilly has brought back that great cotton lace. I'm totally jonesing for this one, to be accessorized with a retro attitude, some cute sandals, and a slushy rum drink.

My wallet needs a cold snap to come around, and soon.

--P.

Put another Lemur on the Barbie

Did you know that the Olsen twins are going to premier their two new fashion lines in Australia? I can only assume that the Olsen twins think that their bizarre black-rimmed eyes, little fuzzy furry heads, and strangely tanned skin make them look like unusually attractive marsupials. Maybe they feel a strange kinship with the duck-billed platypus.

Mary-Kate and Ashley, I hate to burst your bubble, but actually, you look much more like lemurs. You see, lemurs tend to wear lots and lots and lots of black eye makeup:


Also, lemurs just can't get enough of each other. They are so totally touchy-feely, it borders on incestuous:


You're seeing the resemblance, right? I mean, I'm totally not making this up. But Mary-Kate? Ashley, honey? Lemurs belong in Madagascar. Not Australia. Where, you know, there are laws against the way you two behave.

First of all, there is the little matter of your private lives.

OK, in this picture, you're trying to make it look like you're Just Good Friends:


But in this picture, Mary-Kate is about to announce that she is carrying Ashley's baby. Or the other way around. Do you think the Australians are going to stand for this? I don't think so.

Then there are the fashion crimes, to which I have already alluded.

Fashion Cop: "OK, Mary-Kate (or Ashley--sorry, honey; I can't tell you girls apart) this time I'll let you off with a warning. Now put the blue curtains back on your mother's living room windows. And take a shower, missy!"

So here is a question for my readers: do the Olsen Twats Twins seriously think people in Oz want to look or act like them?

Maybe it would fly in Madagascar, where the other lemurs would probably dig it, but I'm sure the Australians won't stand for it. After all, everyone knows that kangaroos are famous for their exquisite taste in boomerangs.

--P.