Friday, April 03, 2009

An open letter to the PR flaks out there

Dear Idiot:

You recently sent me an email suggesting I might want to post about the Easter dresses available on a website you're representing. It's a slow news day, so I checked out the pictures.

Now, I don't know what universe you live in, but the last time I checked, Easter is the only major celebration that takes place during the day. Sure, Halloween, New Year's Eve, and Fourth of July celebrations take place at night, but Easter celebrations are pretty much limited to church services, Easter egg hunts, and Easter brunches. As a result, Easter celebrations tend to be over by the middle of the afternoon.

Now, there are times where looking frisky and sexy is perfectly appropriate--for example, when offering strange gentlemen sexual favors in exchange for money. Or at a summer cocktail party.

Or at the Ascot races, where you can be as much of an exhibitionist as you like, as long as you're also wearing a huge, preposterous hat. But--just so you know--very tight, low-cut strapless mini-dresses are not usually worn to church at any time. Even if you're going to brunch afterward.

So let me give you a hint about daytime events that include religious services, like weddings, Christenings, and Bar Mitzvahs. The idea is to look "ladylike." Please acquaint yourself with the concept before sending me another email.

To sum up: the Easter bunny should never be confused with the Playboy bunny.

You're welcome,



might I add...? said...

Amen to that!

TW said...

Just stumbled across this entry and your blog. Posted a link to it. Very good writing here and elsewhere on your blogs.