Duh-rool, duh-rool

OK, I go to the Neiman Marcus website to check out the latest Beauty Event in order to reinforce my knowledge that I have quite enough makeup and skincare, thankyouverymuch.

And the first thing I see is this amazing Bobbi Brown Limited Edition Artist's lip palette:

Which I so totally don't need at all. But want, anyway. Even though I already have two or three--OK four--Bobbi Brown palettes with lipsticks and glosses in them.

(Which I always buy at the Cosmetics Company outlet store for way less than the $200 this little beauty would cost.)

I know what's going to happen. I'm going to find myself buying something else equally unnecessary but will cost less. Like the Bobbi Brown Limited Edition Shimmering Nudes palette. This could be mine for a comparatively cheap (yet still extravagant) $50. Even though if I lined up all the beige and brown eyeshadows I already own, they would fill the Grand Canyon. And even though I just blogged about how great the Bonne Bell shimmering beige quad is, which I bought two weeks ago for the low, low price of $3.99.

I can has common sense?

HALP!

Darn these credit card limits!

Let me get you up the speed. I'm on record for totally loving Karl Lagerfeld.

So now I'm incredibly upset. I don't even know what my limit is, or how much room I have on the card, but I'll bet I don't have enough purchasing power to buy an official Steiff Karl Lagerfeld bear. At $1,500, it's zehr chère, as they say in Germany and France--which you have to admit, is kind of a lot of money to spend on what is--if I may be frank for a minute--a toy.



And I'm really upset about it. I mean, what could be cuter? Does anyone else out there think it looks like Michael Jackson going to court to hear the jury's verdict? It does! Right down to the super pale plush.

Ah, but I can dream, can't I? Right now I'm imagining it taking pride of place in my boudoir, lovingly propped up between my Marie Osmond dolls and my Limited Edition Neiman Marcus Elton John "English Rose" anti-AIDs Princess Diana candles.

Jen Lancaster has won the (Barnes and) Noble prize for literature

For proof, guess what I spotted at the local Barnes & Noble. A rack of Lancaster. Not Jen's rack. A rack of Jen!



Don't her three books look adorable together? They do, don't they? So (because for the moment this is blog where I tell you what not to buy) if you're in a bookstore and you find yourself picking up Skinny Bitch, put it down.

Trust me. Unless you want to go completely vegan and caffeine-free and wake yourself up in the morning by giving yourself a hot grapefruit juice enemas (or some such New-Age-y, real-life-unfriendly nonsense) Skinny Bitch is useless. I know this because I already wasted my money.

Don't waste yours. Head for the Jen display. Buy her books.

In conclusion, excellent display-age, Barnes and Noble--and way to go, Jen!

Lilly Pulitzer is making stationery!

Talk about two great tastes that taste great together--the only thing I love more than Lilly Pulitzer is cute stationery, and now Lilly will be selling stationery (and gifts) beginning in January, 2009.

Head over here and give them your email and you'll be in the know faster than you can say "please ignore the Walgreen's display of fold-over cards with "Thank you" printed on them."

I want you to do me a favor.

If you are at all interested in drug store makeup, please head over to my latest BlogHer BeautyHacks post and leave a comment.

I know it's a lot to ask, but I slaved over that damned thing--finding the pictures and uploading them was a big fat pain--but it's been up since last night, and no one has commented yet.

And now I feel like Stella Dallas's daughter that time when she was supposed to be having a birthday party and none of the kids she invited showed up.


Poppy tries to comfort her little BlogHer post

This illustration is designed to make you feel really bad for even contemplating blowing this off. Also, I'm cross-posting this entry at The Opiate of the Masses.

Right now you're reading the current incarnation of my moribund shopping blog, which bestirs itself every six months or so and tries to grab some attention, only to continue to be ignored. Kind of like John Kerry.

In fact, I think this shopping blog (which believe it or not, used to get more clicks than my "main" blog) is ready to have an affair to take some attention away from my "main" blog. Which in case you didn't realize it, is the John Edwards of blogs.

See how utterly lacking in integrity I'm being? Shamelessly whoring myself out, expecting to get away with my self-promoting sleaziness because of my good hair and boyish grin? Well, I'm doing the same thing over there. Expecting the tens of dozens of readers who check in every day to fall for my charm. Exactly like John Edwards.

So anyway, please head over to BlogHer, and if it isn't too much of a pain, leave a comment explaining why mine is the single most insightful post on how to make the transition from late summer to fall makeup for $30 tops, including tax.

(Of course, this is assuming you already have foundation, mascara, an eyelash curler, a my-lips-but-better shade of lipstick or gloss and a second gloss in a darker shade. If you don't already have that, you are way behind, and you need to get cracking.)