Disney iconoclasts will love this one

A long time ago I visited a part of Spain that had been colonized by the Romans. There were still Roman statues to be seen here and there, but they were all headless. Someone told me that when everyone converted to Christianity, they knocked the heads off the old statues of gods and goddesses. Or maybe they were statues of Christian saints and the Muslims knocked them off. My informant wasn't quite sure which it was.

But just think, kids. Now you can knock blocks off in the safety of your own home!

All you need to do is buy this life-sized status of Donald Duck. Yes, that's right, I said life-sized. And yes, I realize that Donald Duck doesn't actually exist and is, in fact, a drawing. In this case life-sized means: larger than a regular duck, and smaller than a second-grader. For the record, this work of art measures a stately 39 inches high--roughly the height of the average chair back. So no worries about "where would I put it?" Because if you have room for a chair, you have room for this statue of Donald Duck.


And just see how he blends with every kind of decor! Behind him you see a mid-century armless slipper chair accessorized with a tufted satin pillow. It's sleek, but glamorous. And yet see to the right? The sort of Tuscan looking dark wood commode with the glass bowl of flowers? It's old-world and romantic.

And Donald looks great with both.

To add to Donald's versatility? He comes with two heads. Just think how handy! Now you don't need to use words, body language, or weapons to get your point across. Whether you're happy or sad, Donald does the talking for you.


Now I can just imagine you saying "But Poppy, where will I keep the extra head?" Come on--don't tell me you haven't had one of those elaborate California Closets installed. If you haven't, what are you waiting for? Get the doohickey that's designed to hold basketballs. It would be perfect for Donald's extra head.

And of course, you have the option of knocking one or both of the heads off, in case you're a godless heathen who hates Disney.

It's breathtaking, isn't it. For $399 plus tax plus shipping plus an extra $55 handling, this limited edition statue can be yours.

For some reason, my credit cards aren't jumping out of my wallet.

So I stopped buying stuff as of January 7th, and guess what? It hasn't been a problem yet. It helps that I have so. damned. much. stuff. that literally, I could go for a year without even buying toiletries, except for toothpaste and dental floss.


Mind you, the health and beauty section of Whole Foods looks like a garden of earthly delights. Lotions! Essential Oils! Hair bands! Stuff!


It's all really lovely. But I don't need it ... and I don't even want it.


I want to get back to actually wanting stuff. I want to feel pleasure when someone gives me a present, instead of wondering where I'm going to put it. I want to actually enjoy material goods, instead of sorting through them, losing them, misplacing them, taking care of them, and cramming them into overstuffed closets and bulging drawers. Because I'm no ascetic. I do like stuff. I just want to pare down enough to enjoy what I already have ... and maybe actually want to acquire something new.


But this sort of thing isn't going to do it for me:




A life-size resin status of Jessica Rabbit. That's 5' 9" of cartoon womanhood, people. For only $1,500.00! And with free shipping!

What's wrong with me that I don't want it?